We just wanted to give you a faith update. :)
We realize that a lot of you don't know all of the details about Evelyn's condition. Don't feel too bad, there is so much that Chris and I don't really understand every detail. Just take our word for it, the doctors still haven't decided on a plan - or if Evelyn is even a candidate for a surgery. But everything they tell us is bad, bad, bad.
HOWEVER, we want to share our hearts with you, our prayer warriors, so that you have some direction in how to pray.
We have more hope everyday. Last night I could not get any peace. Usually Chris will just pray for me and I'm fine. Not last night! I was exhausted but couldn't sleep due to horrible thoughts and emotions. Finally I cried out to the Lord and just asked him point blank "is it your will for Evelyn to live?" We have all of the Sciptures that say it IS His will for her to live but I guess in my human-ness (and inexperience in this kind of realm of living by faith) I needed to know for sure. God is so patient. No sooner had the last words escaped from my mouth when I felt His presence so near and total peace. Then I saw a picture of me holding Evelyn in the NICU with all of her tubes and wires (we are going to try and post those pics later tonight by the way). Then I looked up and Jesus was there with outstretched arms. I placed Evie in His arms and He took one hand and moved it over her from head to toe. All of her lines disappeared. Then He touched her chest with His finger and gave her back to me. I knew she was healed. I looked at her and then I surprised myself by giving her back to Him again. When I was first pregnant with Evelyn the Lord spoke to my heart very clearly that she was going to be like Samuel in the Bible - whose mother gave him to the Lord before He was born and He grew up serving God. I knew that what I was doing was giving her to the Lord as an act of consecration, or dedication to Him. This is the second time that He has told me that she would be fully His. We know she has an amazing call of God on her life. After this, I asked the Lord to please confirm this vision with His Word so that I wouldn't second guess it later or dismiss it as emotionalism. He reminded me of Rev 1:18:
"I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of Hades (the unseen world) and of Death."
Jesus calls the shots on who dies and when. He controls this. The doctors do not get to decide who dies. And if they try to pronounce a death sentence over Evelyn we are not going to receive it. God has given us over 30 verses that say its God's will to heal and deliver. Now He has given me a promise because I asked Him to speak to me.
Please understand this is MORE REAL to us than what the doctors are telling us.
Pray specifically against a spirit of infirmity and a spirit of death. We really feel that this is a spiritual battle and the spirit of death is trying to lay claim on Evelyn.
Also Chris and I are learning a lot about faith. This is what we have concluded thus far. Faith is a lot like being crazy (by the world's standards). You honestly and genuinely are convinced that something is real when it is contrary to all natural evidence. Everything in the natural realm says Evelyn's chances of survival are nil. But we are looking past that and have our eyes FIXED on a God who does miracles with a word from His mouth. Her healing is more real to us than her diagnosis.
Everything in me wants to protect myself, to prepare for the worst and to some how buffer any potential disappointment by planning for "just in case God doesn't come through." THIS IS NOT FAITH! This is natural reasoning - an enemy of faith. Faith says that it is going to believe - not wavering in doubt - forever.
God has put Chris and I in a place where we have no option but to dive in headfirst and believe with all of our being that His Word is true, applicable to our lives, and in this case its our ONLY hope. Its easy to always choose the way that our 5 senses say to go when there is that option. For example, as long as we had the surgery and Dr. Hanley as an option we chose that but now that those may not be an option we only have the Lord. We are throwing our lot, our everything, in with the Lord. Please join us and be a part of a miracle. God wants to strengthen the faith of His Beloved Church. This means you too! Decide today to believe the Word, forget about the "what if's" and give your everything to Him. You won't regret it!
We love you! Please don't grow weary praying for Evelyn. We will see God move!